5 Characters You'll Find In Your Office This Christmas
Published: 19 Dec 2017
Ah, Christmastime. On the outside it’s all fluffy snow clouds, jolly Santas and sparkly gifts but the reality is a societal warzone of complex situations, office mishaps and personality conflicts. It seems that the true colours of your co-workers are at risk of becoming exposed during the festive season for a variety of reasons. Characters and personalities reveal themselves in their rawest form in the weeks leading up to Christmas, and it’s your choice how you choose to navigate them. So, who might you encounter during this period of festive jubilation?
The one who lets themselves down at the Christmas party
There’s always one and it’s usually the quiet one who will surprise you at the Christmas party. The ‘lads’ will give it the big’un that it’s going to be a wild night of debauchery and the plan is to get royally ‘sauced’ but they'll be gone be 11pm. Dead to the World, they'll be tucked up in the spare room, their wives eagerly awaiting their awakening to scold them for the usual misdemeanors. It’s the quiet one, the plain Jane of the group. The Beth March. The Marta von Trapp. The unsuspecting suspect of Christmas party mayhem waits in anticipation for that one night of the year. This is the one night where they can truly unleash their inner beast and suffer virtually no consequence because, you know, it must've been a one off, it was the Christmas party after all.
The one who hates Christmas
This one hates Christmas and everything this merry holiday should stand for. The mere sound of a Christmas tune on the radio sends them into a demonic frenzy, as though the spirit of Scrooge has returned, trapped in a parallel universe between time and hell where hatred reigns supreme. They go on about how much they loathe Christmas, how they don't care about the laughter or the joy on children's faces as they light-up come Christmas Eve. The gifts, the food, the carols; don't even get them started. Don’t be fooled by this facade though. This will also be the last one standing at the Christmas party, singing Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas' with baubles hanging from their ears for all and sundry to hear. A confusing character to say the least.
The one who overeats
Quite the phenomenon, there’s always that one person in the office who treats Christmas like a pregnancy. They're eating for two, possibly three. As soon as December arrives they see this as license to overeat and devour every poor crumb that falls in their path. The cravings become so unbearable that one’s own food sources are no longer enough to sustain such gluttony. Food begins to go missing from the fridge, the cupboards and even from people’s desks. This is no laughing matter for the victims but you don’t usually have to look too far to find the guilty party.
The over-excited one
This person does not get on with ‘the one who hates Christmas’. They’ve been talking about Christmas since June and they're irritatingly hyper-organised. By hyper-organised we mean they’ve been buying gifts since the January sale, are on a first-name basis with M&S Foodhall and named their first child Rudolph. Their wardrobe consists only of red, white and gold and they have an entire room in their house devoted to Christmas jumpers. They believe they were put on Earth on a mission to force their extreme Christmas views upon innocent bystanders, even those with a regular, excitable love of Christmas try to avoid this person at all costs. This person is what Christmas would look like if it were an all encompassing human being.
The one who
There’s always one who likes to avoid the festivities altogether. Not because they hate Christmas, they just don’t like to commit. Organised events are not their thing. They’ll commit to the Christmas party for about two seconds before pulling out because the chains of such an obligation are almost too much to bear. They will pull out of lunchtimes, pull out of meetings, sometimes they will even just pull out of work because they don’t really fancy it. Give them a spontaneous situation though and 'The Flake' is all over it. A funtime loving kind of human, they secretly crave a cure for their social commitment issues.
These are just five of the complex characters you might be lucky enough to encounter this festive season. Don't worry though. Not long to go until they fade into the background for another 12 months! If it's become a little bit too unbearable, perhaps it's time to make a move. After all, you can't stay in a marketing job that you're unhappy in. Where's the joy in that? Browse jobs here to find out who is hiring this Christmas and into the new year.